In life we are always on a quest for the greatest love, the greatest story, the greatest job, the greatest new gadget, the greatest materialistic ‘thing’ that will bring us great joy or help us fit in with the crowd. We jump on new fad diets, the latest fitness trends, but really what are we searching for? Why do we do all of these things? Ultimately, we are just looking for the same thing, are we not?
Let’s say I told you that you didn’t need the latest gadget, the latest fashion accessory, the Insta model girlfriend or boyfriend, the most likes, the most followers, would you be interested? Would you even believe me? Or have you stopped reading already because ‘Like OMG I have to have like the most followers and be like the Kardashians. Like hello!’
Are we not all searching for some sort of joy, happiness, acceptance, love, a sense of peace and pride? And yet the truth be told, it’s actually right under our nose? And it’s FREE and so easy to obtain! Can you imagine? You can, you know.
So what is it that we are truly searching for? What is it that has us chasing our tails, or the tails of others, trying to fit in, sometimes feeling like we are selling our souls, accepting behaviour, much less other things, to feel? And feel what exactly? Do you even know?
What have our lives become where reality TV is the pinnacle of our entertainment, to get famous, or worse still, to find love? That we require an app to search for a partner, (well that’s what most guys elude to, and most girls want to believe, right?). Where we live in a society where we are more connected than ever through social media, yet more disconnected than ever. Because of social media. So I ask again, what are we translucently searching for that has become so hard to find?
Are we not simply searching for love and acceptance, and to find that sense of belonging. Isn’t it true that what we genuinely want, and would buy if we could, is joy, happiness, peace and a sense of calm in our hearts, minds and souls? But we are quickly finding out that these things money simply can not buy. Yet we continue to buy things in the hopes they will in turn deliver us that which can not be bought.
So how can we make the change? How can we find joy, happiness, love, acceptance and feel valued without paying for it, or paying for things to help us feel fulfilled, or spending time with the wrong someone, trying to get the attention we think we want, to give us these things?
Let me share a brief story.
For over a decade I have ran myself into the ground, working for others, working for myself, setting up businesses, being a single mum, trying to find the ‘right’ relationship, trying to settle down so I could be fulfilled; with the nice house, the perfect relationship, to have a loving family, the career that I built. All the ingredients to being ‘successful’, right?
Yet do these things even bring us happiness, bring peace to our souls? Hell no! They bring us an unsatisfying desire for many things, for more things, none of which truly completes us. After all external factors are just that, external.
Fast forward to a few years ago, when life changed and I began my studies. I began to heal. I began to look within and change my projection. I got myself a coach, who became ‘my person’. But the one thing the he kept saying to me, ‘schedule fun and play before anything else each week’.
Now, if you’re anything like me, you know how hard that concept is to fathom. Fun and play before work, hustle and grind! Not likely. I can’t achieve what I need to with fun and play!
We need food, water, shelter. Achieving the things in life that I perceive as elements of success, are not a need.
You see, my coach, was many things, but he was the biggest kid too. He understood the importance of making our souls sing. And how can we make our souls sing? By playing, having fun, laughing, loving, accepting.
For two years he spent much time teaching me the elements of unconditional love, of acceptance, of releasing attachments; to outcomes, to wants, to expectations, to how we perceive how things or people should be. He showed me how to love myself, how to accept where I was in any one moment, and to appreciate it for what it was.
But I still wasn’t making the time to play. I was still working myself into the ground. I was still going like crazy to get this incredible list of goals I had set for myself. And what’s wrong with that, you might be asking? Let me just say, there is nothing wrong with that, and everything wrong with that.
You see, it wasn’t until I lost my coach to a very short battle with the dreaded big C before new year, that I started to re-evaluate everything. And I mean everything. And I started really taking in what he said about having fun and playing more.
I made the last minute decision to just go. Road trip down to Adelaide, to his final goodbye, with nothing but me, the road, nature, music and reconnect. Play, have fun, be and just live in the moment. Figure out what part of the message I had been missing from all of our coaching sessions that we had together.
He had showed me for years that the answers were always within us. That love, acceptance and happiness comes from self. And my life changed when I started living my life that way. And then in his absence I realised that peace in my soul can not come from everything I had been doing. That what can make us happy, fulfilled, complete, is actually all around us. In nature. In the beauty of life. In the company we keep, (when we keep the right company). In beautiful souls, with beautiful stories, with beautiful hearts. In you. And in me.
Happiness is not a destination. Joy is not just a name. Love is not something that is conditional, or dependent on another. Peace is not a model’s passing comment in a beauty pageant. Our soul’s truly do sing when we stop, listen and surrender ourselves to the beauty of just marvelling in the wonder of everyday life, in everyday elements. In watching the sun rise and set, in sitting by a lake or a beach, immersing ourselves in a national park, by listening to the rumble of a massive waterfall at the bottom of the gorge, the smell of rain. By listening to a baby giggle, by watching a newly infatuated couple so into each other, watching the excitement of a dog when he sees his owner.
It’s in these moments, taking the time out to watch, to see, to feel, to smell, to breathe. When we listen to our soul. When we stop being ‘busy’ making a life, and stop distracting ourselves with other things and other people, we find everything it is we are searching for. And it’s there that we truly create and live a life.
And that was when my concept of #SoulScape was created.
Krissy is the proud founder of #SELFishMums and thought leader in 21st Century modern family thinking and being.
Krissy dedicates her life to empowering others, (particularly Mummas) to truly step into their power, own their self worth and learn the value of being #SELFish.
Being SELFish isn’t about you & is everything about you.
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