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How to Explore Our Fear and Make It Healthy for Us

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Living in a state of fear: of rejection, not being able to be authentic, be vulnerable, not good enough, or deserving of - we could be missing the beautiful opportunities and beautiful connections and experiences that we can share with other people. The purpose of these experiences, these emotions are not to sit in those emotions and be held back. They are there to experience and learn THROUGH.
Krissy Jewell

Krissy Jewell

What is the biggest fear that you face in your life? Is it a fear of not being good enough? Is it a fear of rejection? Or fear of taking the next leap in a relationship or in a business?

FEAR.

 

Fear has the incredible ability to hold us back and we think that it is negative? A negative emotion, right? 

 

With any emotion that we have, whether it be good or bad, we have a choice of how to see or perceive it. When we don’t recognise that there are potentially good aspects of negative emotions, we may be limiting the opportunities or valuable lessons that may come from these. 


But, by being able to challenge you on how you look at and perceive your negative emotions, then it enables you to be able to look at and see things potentially in a different way.


Living in a state of fear: of rejection, not being able to be authentic, be vulnerable, not good enough, or deserving of – we could be missing the beautiful opportunities and beautiful connections and experiences that we can share with other people. The purpose of these experiences, these emotions are not to sit in those emotions and be held back. They are there to experience and learn THROUGH.


Exploring fear, particularly as parents, can push or prompt us to take big steps in our life. I know it certainly does for me.


So, there can a BEAUTY in fear. Because of this fear, this could motivate us and make certain that we’re always doing what we can to make sure that our kids are safe, loved and nurtured.

 

But do we take this too far? Are we becoming hover parents? Are we not allowing our kids to make their own mistakes so as to be able to have their own learnings and lessons through life? Because we’re holding on so tightly to protect them? 


Or is it that we just need to enable them to really step into who they are, who they want to be, to be able to make healthy choices?

Do we or do we not want to empower our kids to help guide them to learn on their own, change their state and own their own sense of self and who they be. 

 

In order to do that, we should know our own fear. We should work through our own fears so that we can help the little ones to do the same.

 

To be able to make fear healthy for us:

 

  • We need to understand where that fear comes from.

  • We have to identify if our fear/emotions are controlling us or are we controlling them;

 

What do you think life looks like when they control us as opposed to us controlling our emotions? Are our fears and emotions opening up and creating opportunities for us? Or are we closing off to opportunities? Possibilities? Are they controlling how we be, show up, shut down, express ourselves etc.

 

Are we saying NO to certain things that we should potentially be saying YES to? Or are we saying YES to things that we probably should be saying NO to? 

 

In having the power to say no, it means that we have the truth and beauty to look within and say “You know what, this isn’t right for me, and I’m going to use my voice.” From that, we need to be able to use our voice, we need to be able to own our beauty, know what is in alignment with our truth, who we are and get out of our own way.

 

  • We need to have beautiful authentic conversation with our little ones;

 

This will get them to think about, explore and really step up to know what is their own fear and emotions. They can start to identify with what’s going on within their own body when they have the ability to check-in with their emotions. Let’s empower them to be able to step into their own emotional regulation. The earlier we can do that, the better.

 

  • We need to have the same conversation within ourselves;

 

There are times that our advice to our little ones apply to ourselves. We need to check-in within ourselves and have that same conversation about; how we feel, why do we feel that way. 

 

We have to make sure that the conversation is true to us. Own that space, check our emotions, understand why do we have this fear. Is this fear actually ours? If you start to uncover and understand that not all fear is our own, then we can get rid of what is not ours and let it go. 

 

  • Know your fear;

 

Know where it stemmed from? What can you learn from that fear? 

 

Sometimes we can get it from our parents, and we can pass it down from our genetics, DNA, our ancestors’ past lives. 

 

Is it serving you to hold on to that fear? Is it a driver (for being a better parent for being a better person)? Or is it holding you back and not serving you? 

 

Because if that’s the case, if it’s holding you back, and not serving you at your greatest purpose and intention, then it’s not serving the people around you. 

 

  • We have to empower our little humans to have strategies on how to work through potential threats, as opposed to imposing our phobia, our thinking or our fears onto them. 

Observing Ourselves

 

Fear is there to learn, to grow from, and to learn to let it go of. 

 

The best way to overcome the fear of rejection, the fear of loving again, (especially when you’ve been so deeply hurt), the fear of taking off our mask, the fear of not being validated, not being seen the way we want to be seen, IS TO SEE OURSELVES FIRST. 

 

How do we expect other people to honour our truth and our beauty if we can’t do that ourselves? 

 

Uncover what’s actually underneath you and your inner being. We have the ability to move through it when we sit with and honour our emotions. When we feel it, when we love it, when we learn from it and understand why it’s even shown up in the first place.

 

Let your fear propel you, rather than hold you back.

 

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#SELFishMums @ LIMES Revival Academy

#SELFishMums @ LIMES Revival Academy

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About Krissy

Krissy is a proud Mumma and thought leader in 21st Century modern family thinking and being. 

Krissy dedicates her life to empowering others, (particularly Mummas) to truly step into their power, own their self worth and learn the value of making SELF a priority.

Krissy guides parents to step into activated guardianship through conscious living, conscious parenting and self activation.

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